Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
