and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
