we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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