All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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