i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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