Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
