well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
