a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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