and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
