I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
