Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
