She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
