gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
