I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
