i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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