her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
