I just cut my nipple shaving
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
