And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
