He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
