dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
