Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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