I puked a lego.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize