my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
