I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
