He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
