I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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