We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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