You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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