Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize