Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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