Yo dont text me then not text me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
