she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize