how can u be prego again
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
