am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
