I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
