Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
