No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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