I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
