If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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