She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We are two peas in an std pod
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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