quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
