Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
