You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do vagina's smell?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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