ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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