Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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