I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
