I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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