i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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