So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
