almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
