He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
