dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
