You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
