She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
