so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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