xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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