How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
