Plan B is the new Plan A
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
