I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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