Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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(210): View more from Texas

every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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(519): View more from Ontario

i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here

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(218): View more from Minnesota

It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day

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(253): View more from Washington

Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.

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